


Insert Clever Title Here

by dyinghere



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Exploration, Food Kink, Hermaphrodites, Hermaphroditic Trolls, Kink Exploration, Masturbation, Other, Solo, Trolls, Xeno, Xenophilia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-04-12
Updated: 2012-04-12
Packaged: 2017-11-03 12:57:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,255
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/381591
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dyinghere/pseuds/dyinghere
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU Dad Strider is transformed into a troll, and certain circumstances lead him to exploring his new body.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Insert Clever Title Here

**Author's Note:**

> That summary was terrible augh. But I might as well set up a quick {or not s quick} explanation to what's going on here. I run a role-play blog for an AU Dad Egbert where he's actually a Strider and Dave's dad. His name is James Strider. To make his description short, he's a food fetishist. For any of you who RP on tumblr, you know about magic anons, and one hit him and made him a troll for three days. Then someone he knew started sending him pictures of pizza paired with flirty dialogue, and he decided to find out just what was going on.  
> Troll biology is taken from xenosexual.tumblr.com/  
> Point of view is Second Person.

It starts with a prompt to "Try to turn my character on."

 

Johnathan Strider submitted:

i haven’t done this in awhile; spamming you with food

 

**Mmm this is a good start**

 

 

**Mmmm Get something messier**   
**Maybe describe something to me**   
**Wink**

**  
**

you like pizza, don’t you james??

 

**Ooohh**   
**Yes  
** **Yes I do**

  


cause i really love pizza

  


**Ahh  
** **Good good**

 

****

i especially love when the cheese is all hot and melty

 

**And stringy so that when you pull away after a bite just a few strands fall down over your lips**

**  
**

****

****  
****and the grease gets on my fingers and i have to lick it off because a napkin won’t work

 

  
**Ahhh yeah and the sauce dribbles out of the corner of your lip a bit**   


  


sometimes the sauce escapes before i can get it in my mouth, and it slides down my chin

 

**Yeah kay so  
** **Im gonna**

******Casually shut my bedroom door and lock it  
** **Then probably unzip my pants a little**

**  
**

****

and sometimes i can’t catch the sauce before it slides down my neck, slowly

  


**Youre a bastard and Im tempted to punch you in the goddamn face**

**  
**

and i have to take off my shirt so the sauce won’t stain it

  


**Fuck fuck fuck yep**

**  
**

and the sauce is just sliding down my chest unhindered then

  


_You’ve stopped trying to type at this point. Your head is tilted back, staring at the ceiling as you slump in your seat, imagining._

 

so i gather it on my finger and lick it off slowly

 

_You’re indulging yourself in some selective reading tonight. Nothing’s going to kill your mood. You lick your lips, nicking your tongue on your sharp teeth for the umpteenth time, and lift a leg, propping it on the desk next to your keyboard. You’re leaning back pretty far and you have to pull the keyboard up to your chest to continue to type, one handed._   
_Your fingers slip under the fabric of your boxers, and you’re a little shocked to feel nothing there. Not yet at least._

  


and i’m getting so full but it all tastes so wonderful i can’t stop

  


_Your breath hitches quietly, and you grin as you spread your thighs. Your middle fingertip finds a little slit, partially open, and you’re careful of your new claw as you rub gently over the sensitive skin. Teeth gently worry at your lower lip, pulling and nibbling at chapped skin as you carefully pry the slit open with your first two fingers. You then decide this is a terrible position, and you stand, stripping completely before resuming your position and your actions._

_  
_

i’m making a huge mess of the sauce and cheese, having to lick it off my lips and fingers

  


_You admit you’re not even really looking at the pictures anymore. You’re already far away in your own dreamland. When not typing up a short reply to something, your free hand idly runs over your stomach, scratching the skin and teasingly tickling the muscles.  
_ _Your busy hand gets a little more bold, and your middle finger presses into the opening, feeling around the inner rim. When you touch a little bump near the top of the hole, you rub lightly, not too concerned; you’ve obviously been with women before. But when it starts to grow, pretty rapidly, you jerk and stare down, almost knocking the keyboard off your chest._

 

but the messiness somehow makes it twice as enjoyable

  


_You relax a bit when a little pointed tip wriggles out slightly. … Well then. You slump back down after a minute or so of staring at the appendage, watching it as it almost appears to be slowly fighting its way out. You let it squirm and twitch as you resume exploring the rest of your new body. Your other hand has made its way back to your horns. You’ve touched them often already, admiring the texture and length, and the sharp curved tip. The skin around the base was sensitive and you enjoyed rubbing and massaging the area.  
_ _You remember the word ‘nook’ being used when you spoke to other trolls, so you assumed that was what the slit was called. Your fingers resume their touches, lightly pressing a little deeper. It’s surprisingly pleasurable and you moan quietly._

__

 

every bite is just as good as the last, and i’m moaning in ecstasy

 

_You turn your glazed eyes back to the screen long enough to see this gem, and the quiet moan grows louder. Your fingers press harder, both the ones on your scalp and the ones in your nook, and you hiss in a breath. The tapered point of your bulge is much more pronounced now, starting to wrap around your wrist.  
_ _Curious, the hand touching your horn slips down, trailing over your chest before tentatively prodding the newly exposed flesh. You notice it’s getting thicker, but not by much. You idly wonder how long it’ll get as you pry it away from your arm and let it twine between the fingers of your other hand._

  


i love the cheese the most, so i have a habit of pulling it off in long strings and sucking it from my fingers

 

_You’re starting to only see blurs now, catching words that have a sexual connotation like ‘sucking’ and ‘fingers’. And that GIF, fuck, you’re gone. Don’t expect anything coherent from James Strider now. The two middle fingers on your right hand press in deep, eliciting a low, loud groan. Your breathing speeds up and you pant occasionally, simultaneously trying to spread your legs and tighten your thighs around your wrist. Your hips jerk and your bulge, now fully free from its sheath, already starts leaking a dark and opaque liquid. You stroke your fingers over it, feeling the slight bumps and ridges near the base. Your mind wanders further, wondering what it’d feel like to be inside someone. Or have something like this inside you._

 

but of course, what’s pizza without dessert??

 

_Your head is tossed back and you’re dangerously close to falling out of your chair but you could care less as your legs stretch out and your toes curl and clench. You’re gasping occasionally now, rolling your hips and grinding back against the seat of your chair. A whine escapes your throat when you tug a little too roughly at your dripping bulge, an almost obscene amount of fluid seeping from the tip and the opening of your nook. You bite down hard on your lip, panting loud and fast, jerking upright to hunch over yourself, stroking and squeezing and spreading your fingers. You rest your forehead on the surface of your desk, not caring that your horns are bumping against the monitor.  
_ _You curl your fingers up, rubbing and scraping slightly at your inner walls and that does it, the pain mixing in with the pleasure to bring you over the edge. You bite the ridge of your desk hard enough to make deep teeth marks in the cheap wood as you leak more of the strange dark liquid over your hands and chair and floor. And it isn’t stopping, crap it’s getting everywhere, fuck. You lazily kick over your trashcan, wincing as the genetic material patters over the paper that you’d thrown away earlier. What a goddamn mess. Hopefully it doesn’t stain._

 

some cherries and strawberries and a little cream are the perfect end~

**Welp  
What a nice foodspam  
That uh  
Nice pictures**

****_> You don’t remember half of them._

__**Im uh  
** **Gonna be afk  
** **Gotta clean up a bit**


End file.
